The days go by slow and my Mom is never far from my thoughts.
The waves of emotion still strike. I wonder if I will ever heal from the loss. I'm beginning to think that, there is no such thing as getting over the pain of it all, maybe it might not hurt as often or as deep but I do know it will be with me the rest of my life. I miss her so much that sometimes it just doesn't seem real. I'm still in the mode of thinking she is still here, often times wandering around a store and thinking of the things she would like for my next package to send her. We shared gifts and goodies on a regular basis. I also think of picking up the phone to tell her what just happened with a quick realization of "she's gone, she's really gone". I miss her voice. Her laugh. Her indulging me with my ramblings on and on about something silly or absurd and having her actually sounding like she was enjoying them.
We shared so many funny stories over the phone....hers were generally about the grand kids or a neighbor, mine about my puppy or husband (the butt of most my jokes). Sometimes we laughed to the point of tears at how funny something was or what someone did. Mom was a practical joker with a real sense of humor. I somehow sense that this indelible loss marks a turning point in my life, one where life just doesn't have the same sweet flavor. It's like taking a sip of lemonade where the lemons to make it seem too bitter and tart.
I miss you Mom so very, very much!! You knew I would!
1 comment:
Big hugs to you. One of the things I miss the most is calling my mom on the phone...every time I do something fun....something she would have liked, or when we go out of town and get back...I feel like I need to call mom and tell her about my day, and the details of life.....it has been a year, and I still feel like she should be here. It doesn't get easier, it just is "different"! Thinking of you, and I know your mom is smiling down on you!
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