Coping

Last month has been extremely difficult emotionally. It seems like...and feels like our family was hit with a double punch to the gut that literally took the wind out of us all.

My mother was diagnosed with brain cancer that is inoperable and is undergoing chemotherapy. A devastating blow to all of us whom love her. The same week that my mother underwent chemo my little niece Shea, whom many of you may know through my art and photos, was diagnosed with leukemia. The very strange and seemingly surreal discovery was marked by and made more poignant by the fact that Shea was in the same hospital in the pediatrics wing while my mother was recovering from a brain biopsy. Even stranger is that they started their chemotherapy on the same day.

What to make of this all?? The why's that seemingly have no answers. Thinking the thoughts that "my God she is only a little child!! Very difficult and hard to understand that not only one loved one in a serious illness but that 2 very special persons in our lives are struggling and fighting for their lives. One knowing or sensing that the end could be near the other not knowing or fully understanding the seriousness of it all. Only that she is sick. Both in need of all our love and support.

Life doesn't prepare you for these types of crisis. The shock, the anger of it all. We can feel like we are navigating in a one person sailboat in the midst of a hurricane. In uncertain waters so to speak, feeling like we have no control. Often times feeling alone with our thoughts while trying to move ahead to stable shores. We want to help but at the same time feel helpless. We love but wonder if that's enough. I'm only an aunt and would gladly give my own life to give Shea a chance at hers. The depths of that same emotion in what her parents feel so deeply in their heart and soul can only be imagined by bystanders. But with incredible courage and determination they forge on ahead only thinking of victory over this invasive disease. I truly and whole heatedly believe that the one main ingredient to our emotional sanity and what invariably keeps us going is hope! Hope for a better day. Hope for a revelation of good news after so much bad news. Hope looms large and keeps getting larger. I believe in the power of these 4 letter words. With hope and love we can overcome all the hard stuff life hands out. Without God, hope, and love life would be meaningless.








To believing in more fun play days ahead!!!!!
Thinking of you everyday!