While dealing and coping with the hard stuff in life, there is a (little by little) new realization and awareness that starts to kick in when you least expect it. The moments of sadness and heartache somehow subside when you open your eyes to a new and wonderful perspective in the process of picking up the pieces with a mind that on most occasions won't let you forget that that uncertainty and fear may be right around the corner.
The bits and pieces that make it easier. The friendships and fellowship of sincere persons trying to help where they can and allowing us to call on them for comfort and relief. The moments where in spite of the difficulties there are incredible moments of clarity and understanding. Moments of an awakening of a renewed and beautiful spirit, not only in me but also in the ones whom are suffering. The courage that radiates anew from each trial undertaken. The hope for a better day which never ceases it's bright fire inside me. The compassion and outreaching from all corners of my psyche.
In truth, I'm on a road of self-discovery. A journey that is showing me that the many people I hold dear to my heart are temporary and what matters most of all is not trying to hold onto and meditate on what I can lose, but to make every second and moment count while we do have loved ones here right now. The inevitable is, we all lose loved ones. For me right now...in my mind....I'm NOT going there, to that place of anguish and despair. I'm not allowing that thought and sadness to creep in and sabotage what my potential good offerings are. There is too much time wasted thinking of the inevitable making your heart feel like its disintegrating into a tiny million little pieces. I want to help make everything (with the strength that is given me) a precious and meaningful moment. To always realize that time goes by fast if your not awake and I want to be alive in the expectancy of something good is ready to happen at any time. To be aware of every little opportunity that I'm allowed to show the love, happiness, joy, kindness, comfort and laughter that I've been so amazingly blessed with from a mother who knew how to give all of these attributes in an inexhaustible supply throughout my life. I hope she always felt that appreciation and gratitude from me. Can we convey that enough? My answer to myself is a firm and decidedly NO! There is never a bottom to the well of love. It keeps replenishing itself and while it does it grows bigger and bigger putting in place a heart that is so full it feels like it can burst and in place of the sadness it's filled with a personal peace and a "happy kind of joy" that literally cannot contain itself. It bursts forth with an unabashedly silly smile and grin, because deep down, I truly feel it's not just for our loved ones that we are giving this sense of trying to " make it all better", but in retrospect we are giving to ourselves in the process. A healing of the soul and this is ONE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIFT that just keeps on giving and getting better and better. Passing on the love and watching how infectious it becomes. Now that in and of itself is a miracle!!
The bits and pieces that make it easier. The friendships and fellowship of sincere persons trying to help where they can and allowing us to call on them for comfort and relief. The moments where in spite of the difficulties there are incredible moments of clarity and understanding. Moments of an awakening of a renewed and beautiful spirit, not only in me but also in the ones whom are suffering. The courage that radiates anew from each trial undertaken. The hope for a better day which never ceases it's bright fire inside me. The compassion and outreaching from all corners of my psyche.
In truth, I'm on a road of self-discovery. A journey that is showing me that the many people I hold dear to my heart are temporary and what matters most of all is not trying to hold onto and meditate on what I can lose, but to make every second and moment count while we do have loved ones here right now. The inevitable is, we all lose loved ones. For me right now...in my mind....I'm NOT going there, to that place of anguish and despair. I'm not allowing that thought and sadness to creep in and sabotage what my potential good offerings are. There is too much time wasted thinking of the inevitable making your heart feel like its disintegrating into a tiny million little pieces. I want to help make everything (with the strength that is given me) a precious and meaningful moment. To always realize that time goes by fast if your not awake and I want to be alive in the expectancy of something good is ready to happen at any time. To be aware of every little opportunity that I'm allowed to show the love, happiness, joy, kindness, comfort and laughter that I've been so amazingly blessed with from a mother who knew how to give all of these attributes in an inexhaustible supply throughout my life. I hope she always felt that appreciation and gratitude from me. Can we convey that enough? My answer to myself is a firm and decidedly NO! There is never a bottom to the well of love. It keeps replenishing itself and while it does it grows bigger and bigger putting in place a heart that is so full it feels like it can burst and in place of the sadness it's filled with a personal peace and a "happy kind of joy" that literally cannot contain itself. It bursts forth with an unabashedly silly smile and grin, because deep down, I truly feel it's not just for our loved ones that we are giving this sense of trying to " make it all better", but in retrospect we are giving to ourselves in the process. A healing of the soul and this is ONE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIFT that just keeps on giving and getting better and better. Passing on the love and watching how infectious it becomes. Now that in and of itself is a miracle!!
1 comment:
There is never a bottom to the well of love.
I love this thought! You are so wise, and your words are so powerful! Prayers to you!
hugs
J
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