Shea's walk for a cure

This letter is forwarded to you from my 5 year old niece Shea.

Shea was diagnosed with Leukemia in May of 2007. She is a bright, outgoing little girl with a huge amount of courage and heart. Her genuine thoughtfulness and compassion for others in spite of her ongoing struggles really makes her beautiful from the inside out.

Any help you can give her to help her cause would be greatly appreciated. I also want to offer a thank you gift to you for your generosity. Please e-mail me back to let me know you have participated.

Please know your thoughtfulness gives hope to many other children battling this disease.

Thank you in advance for your kindness.
Colleen

Shea's letter:

Hi There!

I am raising money for this very important cause and I'm asking you to help by making a contribution! Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly & securely. You will receive email confirmation of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation. I thank you in advance for your support, and really appreciate your generosity!!

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnChicag/2029_SheaJones

Please forward this email to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well!Thank you for helping me fight the fight.

Love,
Shea

Shea Jones sent this e-mail to you to let you know about the ActiveGiving online fundraising tools. You are a personal contact of Shea Jones. All donations will be processed via ActiveGiving's secure credit card processing services.If you wish to be removed from Shea Jones' personal contact list, please contact Shea directly by replying to this message. Visit The Active Network's Privacy Policy and User Agreement: http://www.theactivenetwork.com/privacystatement if you have any questions.

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These lyrics are kind of how I'm feeling lately. Trying not to waste this time in my life no matter how long I have, I want to know that there is a reason for my life and to try and be in the moment no matter what I'm going through so I don't miss a thing.

Our Lives ( The Calling )

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe thatThere's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

CHORUS:'
Cause these are the days worth livin
'These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

'Cause these are the days worth livin
'These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
'Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go onThinking it's wrongTo speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

'Cause these are the days worth livin
'These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
These are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

Shea the helper

This is a cute photo. Shea helping me wrap her cousins graduation presents from Mom while she was in the hospital. What a wonderful little helper you are. Always pitching in with everything that needs to be done (even when thirty pieces of tape are needed to secure the wrapping) but more important my sweet girl you are a loving encourager!!! You are positive, caring, supportive and nurturing. You helped take care of Grandma in the most loving and touching manner that I never want to forget what you did for her to make her feel better. And you DID make her feel better. You even made sure I helped cut her food smaller so it would be easier for her to swallow. Such beautiful personality traits you have my sweet and special niece!

I love watching you bloom Shea. You have a beautiful heart and I love being around you. You always make me feel good about myself without trying. It's so natural coming from you that it sometimes blows me away with the surprise of it but also the maturity of your character. I'll never forget a few weeks ago when I was in Uncle Dale's pool with you, when I finally dunked under water for the first time getting my hair all wet, as I came up you said, I looked pretty. Wow! You just know instinctively and with complete innocence how to say the right thing to make a person feel good even if it's something little like making a middle-aged aunt think she may still have it going on....lol . And believe me when I say that made me feel real good! lol

The real pleasure of those words are that it was YOU who thought I was pretty and that you would say this to me made my evening....oh heck made my year!!!

I love you bunches "my Chickadee!"

Favorite Photo

One of my favorite photo of my Mom with Scooter. Two peas in a pod. Scooter never left my Mom's side during her visit last August. Sat on her lap and lay on her belly all the time while she was here. Knowing the story of how we adopted Scooter with Mom's help as a conduit was even more meaningful to me when seeing them bond together. They were adorable together. This photo was taken before we knew she was sick. I loved how she loved Scooter, my house and garden and that she felt so much at home with Dean and I that she could do anything she wanted. To this day I enjoy the creative vision Mom had at arranging my wall pictures. They're so much nicer to view after what she did with them. So many memories of places we went to shop, hang out and lunch at. Watching movies and spoiling her at the spa. I had so much satisfaction watching her come out of her pagoda room from her massage in the mountains. She was relaxed and pampered, just like she needed to be. I miss her so much!

Sad days ahead

Checking in with all my friends today.

I haven't felt much like blogging of late and much of it has been due to the overwhelming experience of my Mother being sick and then just recently having left this world. (Monday, August 6, 2007 at 12:00 noon).

Although, we knew this was coming and inevitable from her diagnosis it still felt like shock and that it was too soon to even think of letting her go from our life. We (family) of course wanted her longer than what God planned. She in turn said she was OK with dying but would like to stay longer to watch the youngest grandchildren become adults.

She was to me a Mom and a friend. My life has been drastically changed and I feel this sorrow so intensely that if you were to stick me with a 100 needles it wouldn't touch the pain inside.
I try and look ahead as to what my life will be like without her. Who will I call to share my successes, as well as, my everyday incidental happenings and events? Who can I look to for words of encouragement that she so often gave to me with complete faith in my abilities to do anything I put my mind to. Who will be there to pick up the phone when I need advice about my garden or home projects or to share a joke or silly moment. My Mom meant so much to me that going in my home and looking around brings me to tears. She is everywhere. We both scarp booked together and made crafts. We shared the passions of gardening together, she even visited me at this time each summer to add to the beauty of it. The emptiness so indelible that I cry often and without warning.

I know that in days ahead this will get easier but for now the vacant place where she once played a significant role for me is seemingly feeling large and empty. She was irreplaceable to me.

I loved her beyond measure and couldn't even find the words to articulate the feelings I had inside. She knew this and for that I am blessed. I am comforted by many thoughts of sharing my life and love for her throughout the years but also by the simple truth of being able to hold her while she was taking her last breaths. I never thought I had that kind of courage, as I inasmuch said I didn't think I could handle or bear it, but when the time came the thought never entered my mind to leave her side. My sister on the other side of Mom while we cradled her was meaningful and poignant. The once unknown fear led to need and then turned to desire. To be there to comfort her as she left this world was a privilege. Two daughters bound in common to a Mother who taught us how to nurture with love and kindness. It couldn't be any other way. She would have been expecting that from us and proud that we surrendered to it in spite of the intense feelings of despair and sorrow. God answered my prayers in every way possible. For that and so much more I am grateful. She knew I and her entire family were there for her and that this affirmation of love will be with me forever. God is wonderful and I know we will see each other again. Until then I will always hear her gentle voice in my ear and be reminded of all the joy and blessings in my life and how fortunate I was that she was in it.

She was a good Mom who loved her family immensely!

She was a hands on Grandmother whose kisses and hugs were always given free and plentiful!